


Assorted Voltron Drabbles

by 80sGayTrashGoblin



Category: Voltron: Lion Force (1984)
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Lesbian Allura (Voltron), M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pidge is a little shit, Pining Keith (Voltron), Team Bonding, Team Fluff, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:34:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27265060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/80sGayTrashGoblin/pseuds/80sGayTrashGoblin
Summary: These are a collection of drabbles that are scattered about that I decided to just collect into one work. Enjoy!
Relationships: Allura & Hunk (Voltron), Bandor & Pidge (Voltron), Bandor & Romelle (Voltron), Hunk & Pidge (Voltron), Keith & Sven (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron), Lance & Pidge (Voltron), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Kudos: 2





	1. Chillin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is based on an ask game from Tumblr.
> 
> breadstickcat: How about some “If you quote Yu-Gi-Oh’s power of friendship one more time I will kill you” for DotU Pidge?

Pidge flopped onto the couch in the lounge, watching as everyone else fell into their respective places. They had just gotten back from Setania, who had needed Voltron’s help to be freed from the Drule Empire. Waiting for them there were not one, not two, but three robeasts. They managed to defeat them, but Pidge was sore as shit. 

“Ugh, I’m so tired.” Hunk groaned, rolling over onto his belly. “Chief, I know you wanted to do drills, but can we skip the drills today?” 

“Yeah, we can.” Their captain stretched like a cat from his portion of the couch, then pulled himself up. “But everyone needs to hit the showers before Nanny complains about us stinking up the place.” 

Pidge grunted as he rolled off the couch and onto his feet, leaning onto Hunk as they ambled to the showers like zombies. One of the maids was cleaning up as they passed, so Allura told them that the Voltron Force was to be left alone unless ‘it was a goddamn life or death situation.’

Thankfully, the ‘showers’ in the castle were a blessing. They were between the the training courtyard and the pool, and they were a combination of showers and locker room. All the soap and products were top of the industry, luxury items, and the loofahs were the softest that Pidge had every felt. But after his shower, Pidge pulled on his trunks and headed for the pool.

While the pool was much nicer than the Garrison Academy ever was, that’s not why he (or the rest of the team) were here. It was the hot tub in the corner. He sunk in, along with Hunk and Lance, waiting for the last two members of their team. 

“But seriously though, why did Haggar send three robeasts this time?” Lance whined, sinking into the hot water. “Couldn’t she just send two? Or one tougher one? I swear I couldn’t feel my legs after that fight.” 

“Lance, how do you have the energy to complain?” Hunk asked, leaning his head back. He just grumbled in response, and Pidge took that blissful few moments of silence to close his eyes and feel himself physically relax. 

He could hear some chatter though, so he opened his eyes a smidgen. Keith and Allura were making their way over, and Lance was using that opportunity to not-so-subtly check out Keith’s abs. 

“You guys did make sure to turn off the cameras, right?” Keith asked, in his commander voice. “I don’t want to have to deal with Nanny right now.” 

“We did.” Hunk said, while Lance just lazily gave a thumbs up.

“Good.” Keith and Allura stepped into the hot tub, with Allura sighing in relief as she sat down. 

Hunk hummed in thought. “You cancelled drills, right Chief?” 

“I did, I did.” Keith’s Commander Voice had come off now that there was no threat of death, from Nanny or otherwise. “I think we deserve a celebration after today.” 

“How about a game night?” Lance asked lazily. “We haven’t had one of those in a while.”

“We should introduce Allura to Monsters and Mana.” Pidge set his glasses on the concrete after they kept getting steamy. “She’d enjoy it.” 

“Well, I heard about this Earth game that I’m interested in trying.” Allura spoke up. “I think it’s called Monopoly?” 

“Allura, no.” Hunk said immediately. “If we played, the castle would be on fire and someone would die.” 

“I’m sure it’s not that bad.” Allura chuckled nervously, running her fingers through her hair. “Besides, we can get away with it as a test of our team bonds!” 

“Guys, I think we’re at a point where a board game can’t divide us.” Keith was rubbing his face with his hands. “Besides, we have the power of-” 

“If you quote Yu-Gi-Oh’s power of friendship one more time, I will kill you.” Pidge growled. 

There was a moment of silence. 

“Monsters and Mana?” 

“Monsters and Mana.”


	2. The Drama Couch TM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is based on an ask game from Tumblr.
> 
> queenscene2: Oooh challenge! Do the "why date when we can watch shitty TV and drink?" With EVERYONE (DoTU)

Allura flopped onto the Drama Couch located in the yellow lion’s hangar, huffing and rolling on her side. “Hunk!” 

Hunk sighed, looking up from the repairs that he was doing with the yellow lion. “What is it, Allura?”

“Nanny and Coran are pressuring me to get a suitor.” Allura sighed, dramatically draping herself over the couch’s arm. “But they’ve been only putting guys in front of me, and only today has Coran convinced Nanny that I should go out and look for a date. None of those guys look good either, they all look like prunes!” 

“And you are here alive so you didn’t tell Nanny or Coran about your gay awakening.” Hunk was referring to the incident a few weeks ago where Keith was turned into a girl for a bit and Allura’s brain absolutely broke.

Allura just sighed, draping her arm over her face. “I don’t want to go having any affairs with the maids around here, not that they really appealed to me anyway, and I’m not just going to go in town and try to pick up girls like I’m Lance.” 

Hunk, probably realizing that he wasn’t going to get any more work done with Allura on The Couch, starting putting away his tools. He closed up the lion, then pulled Allura up. “Forget about that, at least right now. Where’s everyone else?” 

“Keith and Lance are probably snogging right now, and Pidge said he was going to create things in the forest.” 

“Well, let’s go find them. We’re having a mandatory group night. Why date when you can spend the night with us watching shitty TV and drinking?” 

Allura grinned, grabbing Hunk’s arm and dragging him along. “You’re absolutely right! Let’s go find them!” 

That’s how Coran finds the Voltron Force in the lounge. Everyone was spread out on the couches, eating ice cream and popcorn and drinking shitty wine. Pidge was asleep on Hunk’s shoulders, and the other pilots were giving their hot takes on the bad movies they were watching (the current one was a Seinfield movie). Coran just smiled, turning off the cameras and moving on.


	3. "If I Commit Crime We Can Go to McDonald's?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is based on an ask game from Tumblr.
> 
> toastess-with-the-mostess: For the prompts: "Can we make cake? I like cake?"-Pidge

Hunk sighed, rubbing his forehead as Pidge stood in front of him. He had a grin on his face that was trying to look innocent, but was absolutely malicious to those who know him. And who witnessed Pidge blow up someone’s car after someone just bumped into him. 

“Pidge, blowing up a car is an overreaction to being bumped into.” Hunk leveled his best replica Commander Keith expression at him. 

“But where’s the fun in that?” Pidge grinned with a wink. “I had a set of sticky bombs that needed to be tested, and he made fun of me after he knocked me over, so his car was my new test dummy.” 

“I repeat, blowing up someone’s car is an overreaction to them bumping into you, even if they make fun of you. One is being a jerk, and one is a crime.” 

Pidge just blinked, looking up with puppy dog eyes. Hunk was immune at this point. “Look, Pidge, you need to stop committing crimes. If you do so, you’ll go to Arusian jail, and we won’t bail you out, and you’ll have a criminal record and have to go work at McDonald’s.” 

Pidge’s eyes lit up. “IF I COMMIT CRIME WE CAN GO TO MCDONALD’S?!” 

“NO!” 

* * *

Hunk was dragging Pidge back to the castle, while the kid chattered aimlessly from the headlock that Hunk had him in. 

“I told you, we won’t get cake.” Hunk grumbled, only half-listening at this point. “That bakery closed a few hours ago.” 

“Can we make cake?” Pidge’s eyes went wide. “I like cake! Besides, you promised me cake!” 

“I did not.” 

“You did! You said exactly: Pidge, if you come with me back to the castle, I will get you cake.” 

“I did not say that, you’re lying.” 

“Am not!” 

“Am too.” 

“Am not!” 

“Am too.” 

“What’s going on?!” Allura ran up to them from the castle entrance, looking very concerned. Which is fair, considering that Hunk had gone to go get Pidge about a few hours ago and they had just showed up now. And Hunk was slightly angry. 

“Pidge is being a bastard and insisting that I promised him cake.” 

“He said that he would give me cake if I came back to the castle!” 

Allura took a good look at the both of them, with Hunk being sweaty and tired and miserable and holding Pidge in a headlock. “Let’s get him cake, he won’t leave us alone until we do.” 

“He blew up someone’s car! He can’t commit a crime and be rewarded for it!” 

“Hunk, it’s a bribe, not a reward.” 

Pidge stuck his tongue out, and Allura sighed as Hunk screamed. 

* * *

After a fist fight and a screaming match, Pidge ended up getting his cake.


	4. Pasta Bandit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on another ask game from Tumblr, for toastess-with-the-mostess. She wanted banter with Pidge and Lance, and I delivered.

“Hey, Lance!” Pidge popped out of the vent, startling the everloving shit out of him. 

“Fuck!” Lance jumped back, then registered the impish grin. “Oh hey, what’s up.” 

“Lance, I have an idea that would give Sven and Keith aneurysms. You in?” 

“That sounds irresponsible and reckless, of course I’m in.” 

Pidge grinned wider somehow, jumping down and onto Lance’s shoulder. “We’re going to steal pasta from the kitchen.” 

“Why?” 

“The smarmy asshole in my Chem class says he loves pasta, so we’re going to fill his dorm with the stuff.” 

“Revenge? Aw, kid, you’re learning from your dear old dad.” 

“Shut up. I needed you because I’m pretty sure the lunch lady has the hots for you, and you chatting her up will give me the distraction I need.” 

“Alright, I’m on it.” 

* * *

Lance burst into Keith’s and his dorm, singing at the top of his lungs. “ _SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME, HANDS OFF MY MACARONI!♫ MILWAUKEE PASTA BANDIT FOUND DEAD!♫”_

Hunk finished up the song, who was cooking lasagna while Keith read on the couch. “ _HE WAS PICKING UP THE GUN, WITH HIS FINGER AND HIS THUMB RAISING UP, POINTED STRAIGHT AT HIS FOREHEAD!♫”_

Keith sighed, putting the book down. “Lance, what’s going on?” 

“Pidge got shot.” 

“PIDGE GOT SHOT?!” 


	5. Sven's Done With Keith's Bullshit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on another ask game from Tumblr, for queenscene2. She wanted discussion between Sven and Keith as either friends or lovers, so a friend discussing the other's love life seemed like a good compromise.

Keith went into the kitchen for a cup of tea. He had just finished yesterday’s reports (which were delayed due to a robeast attack), dodged Hunk’s hugs (which were great, but at the time he was covered in oil), kept Pidge from blowing up things (he really didn’t want to bail him from jail again), rescued Allura from sleepwalking off a bridge (why did none of the guards stop her), and narrowly avoided an awkward encounter with Lance. He was tired, and just wanted to go back to his office to finish up today’s paperwork so that he wasn’t behind again. 

Keith stepped into his office with his tea. The chair spun around, and Sven, sitting in his chair, said, “Keith, I vas expecting you.” 

Keith sighed, really not in the mood to deal with tomfoolery right now. “Sven, I’ve got paperwork to do.” 

“That paperwork can vait.” Sven leaned back, looking Keith directly in the eyes. “Ve’ve got an important matter to discuss.” 

“And what is that, Sven?” 

“You and Lance.” 

Keith groaned. “Really? My love life?” 

“Your inability to deal with your love life is affecting the rest of the team, Keith.” 

“How?!” 

“You’ve been avoiding Lance-”

“I’ve been busy, I’ve been swamped with paperwork.” 

“Ven Hunk mentioned that you vere avoiding Lance, you made an excuse and left immediately.” 

“I told you, I had to pee!” 

“That’s an excuse and ve both know it. Besides, vat about that time ven Pidge valked in on you drinking at 2 in the afternoon because Lance vas having another one night stand?” 

“There were other circumstances! The Garrison was cracking down!” 

“Ve both know that that vasn’t vat caused that.” Sven sighed. “Look, Allura has noticed that you are pining. _Allura_ has noticed.” 

“Well, shit.” Keith leaned back in his chair with a sigh, his head in his hands. “Alright, fine. I’ll tell him, but after I do paperwork-”

Keith yelped as he was pulled up by his hands, Sven glaring at him. “No, you’ll tell him now. If you vait, you’ll make an excuse, and you von’t tell him.” 

Keith sighed, being pushed out the door by Sven. “Alright, alright, I’m going!” Keith started walking, but paused when he turned to Sven. “How did you get the keys to my office?” 

“A vizard never reveals his secrets.” 

“So you bribed Pidge?” 

“I bribed Pidge.” 


	6. The Birth of the Voltron Franchise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on another ask game from Tumblr, for breadstickcat. "(pulls up to drive thru window) yeah uhhhhh can i get Pidge and Bandor bantering over video games with a side of fries and a large vanilla milkshake"
> 
> So I delivered.

Pidge and Bandor sat in the mall, sipping on large milkshakes from the shitty food court with their haul. Bandor has a massive allowance due to being a part of the royal family, and Pidge has a steady income of blood money, so they blew it all in a massive spending spree. 

“Just so you know, you’re objectively wrong.” Bandor pointed a fry dipped in ketchup at the Voltron pilot, before shoving it in his mouth. “The Barbarian set is better than the Sheikah set. I mean come on, higher attack?” 

“You’re practically invisible in the Sheikah set though.” Pidge took another long slurp of his milkshake. “There is nothing more satisfying than sneaking up behind a moblin and killing it in one hit.” 

Bandor sneered, sticking another fry in his mouth. “Your brother would agree with me.” 

“Chip thinks the Rubber set is the best set.” 

The two huffed in unison, saying, “Lamo.” 

Pidge made a grabby motion with his hands, and Bandor passed over the fries. He grabbed a handful, then passed them back. “So, you’re a fan of the classics I see.” 

Bandor scoffed. “Of course! They had the best ideas when they were constrained! Nowadays, developers are crushed by the wants of capitalism and just create boring, recycled garbage.” 

Pidge grinned. “Good to see we’re on the same page. Although, I’m not as elequent as you are.” 

“El-eh-quent?” Bandor raised an eye. 

“Shut up.” Pidge rolled his eyes. “You don’t need to be well speaking in order to pilot a giant robot lion.”

“You know.” Bandor tapped his chin with a fry thoughtfully. “You’re life is pretty much a video game. A group of pilots stranded on a strange planet where they need to fend off evildoers? Prime real estate right there.” 

Pidge’s eyes gleamed. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” 

“Call your lawyer. We need to get the Voltron Force licensed.”

“I am my lawyer. Duh. Do you know any programmers?” 

“I am a programmer. Duh.” 

The two of them grinned at each other. “This is gonna be awesome.” 


	7. "Since When Was Pidge a Lawyer?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For dotuindex, she wanted some interaction between Bandor and Romelle, so this is a continuation of "The Birth of the Voltron Franchise."

Romelle sighed, taking the time to drop her head on her desk. She was swamped with work lately, as various bureaucrats wanted various things all at the same time. 

A slam on her desk, and Romelle's head whipped up to Bandor slamming a giant stack of papers on her desk. "I need you to read this!"

Romelle just sighed. "Bandor, I just finished with paperwork for today."

"Right, but this is super important!"

Romelle thumbed through the documents, skimming the first few. "Wait, is this a script? A Voltron script?"

Bandor nodded impatiently. "I had Pidge look over it, but I need an outside source to look it over."

"So, you and Pidge are making a Voltron video game? Is that right?"

"Yeah! It's gonna be a best seller!"

Romelle resisted the urge to smack her brother, and instead facepalmed. "Is that even legal? Someone has got to own the IP for that."

"No one does, so once Pidge gets ownership, we'll be in the clear."

"Since when was Pidge a lawyer?!"

Bandor just shrugged unhelpfully.

Romelle sighed, wrapping a bow around the stack of papers and placing it on one of the shelves behind her. "How about this, I'll wait to read this until tomorrow so I can claim I'm doing work when Hilda inevitably gets up ass, and right now we play one of the new games you got yesterday."

Bandor grinned, holding up a cartridge. "I got the new Street Riots."

"I'm gonna whip your ass with Sierra."

"Not if I get you with Jen first!"

Romelle grabbed her brother and put him in a headlock, dragging him to the lounge like she was planning to do in the game.


	8. Gold Bells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Toast on Tumblr, who requested Pidge and Lance for #15, "Is it just me, or are we being followed?"
> 
> My Tumblr, for those wondering, is the same as my Ao3 account.

Lance and Keith were taking a stroll through the castle gardens. Keith didn’t want to go on a longer date in case Lotor attacked (because for some reason every time they go on a date, without fail, Lotor attacks), and Lance was gonna take any chance he could get to spend time with his boyfriend. 

However, he had a crime that he needed to pay for, though he did not know it yet. (Or rather, he did, but he had forgotten about it.)

“These are really pretty,” Keith muttered under his breath, cupping one of the flowers in his hand. If Lance remembered correctly, it was a Gold Bell, and safe to touch. If he also remembered correctly, Gold Bells are representative of love and fortune on Arus. 

“They are.” Lance gently pulled one off the bush, tucking it behind Keith’s ear. “But not as pretty as you are.” 

Keith flushed, placing a hand over Lance’s. “You’re such a flatterer.” Something in his eyes gleamed imperceptibly as he step forward, grabbing Lance’s hair and pulling him down for a kiss. He tasted like the strawberries they picked earlier, and he felt warm pressed against Lance. 

Lance pulled back, needing to breathe. He didn’t realize he had moved one of his hands to Keith’s neck, much less the other to his ass.

“Well, I think we both know what you want.” Keith chuckled, twining his arms around Lance’s neck.

“Do you, though?” Lance muttered. At Keith’s raised eyebrow, he leaned down, biting down on Keith’s neck. Keith let out a low moan, as he was trying to keep it down so that someone doesn’t hear them. After a few moments, Keith gently pushed Lance off of him.

“Right, but we’re not doing it here,” Keith hissed, trying to keep his grip. “Follow me.” 

He grabbed Lance’s hand, leading them through the garden pathways. He must’ve had been through these gardens many, many times. But as they were walking between flower beds, even though he was very horny, Lance swore he could hear something. 

“Keith, Keith, wait.” Lance tugged on Keith’s arm, and he looked back at Lance.

“What is it, Lance?” 

“Is it just me, or are we being followed?” 

Keith had the better hearing of the two of them. He shook his head out, then looked past Lance, his brow furrowing. 

“I hear footsteps-” 

“GERONIMO MOTHERFUCKERS!” Lance whipped around, getting a water balloon to the face. He wiped the gunk off of his face, and by the smell of it, it wasn’t water. 

“Pidge!” Keith shouted. “What was in the balloon?! Why were you following us?!” 

Lance wiped his eyes, and he glared at Pidge, who had a wide and suspicious grin on his face. Pidge simply grinned further at Lance’s look. “Well, I put Honey Hood in the balloon. What it does is it makes you really want to fuck for the next two or three hours, and if don’t for the entire time, you get really bad rashes.” 

“What did you do that for?” Lance sputtered. 

“You stole my pot brownies.” 

Keith groaned, putting his face in his hands. Lance was already starting to feel the effects of the Hood Honey, but he was slightly distracted by the fact that Pidge threw Keith a small bag of something. “There’s no drugs in that one. Hunk packed it for you, there’s a lot of Viagra in there.” 

Keith turned bright red, grabbing Lance’s arm and dragging him off. The last thing Lance heard from Pidge that night was the sound of him cackling.


End file.
